Never Share How Much Money You Make

One of my friends got a promotion last year. She was proud of the opportunity, and excited to share how much money she was going to make.

Who knows why she shared her income. It could have been because she was proud – her new income was in the top 3% of earners in the United States. She also may have wanted more data points about how she was being compensated. Either way, I congratulated her for the new title and pay, and decided not to share how much money I was making.

Why not? She never asked, and I have a different job in a different industry. My salary isn’t relevant to hers. Finally, it only works if I make as much money as she does.

Even with the best intentions, sharing your income could come off as boastful if you make a lot more, and it can come off as jealous if you make a lot less.

There is little to gain by sharing your income, and a lot to lose. Friends and family members could distance themselves, and you could be targeted and judged.

We’ll walk through the benefits of hiding your salary, and the consequences once your income is known to friends and family.

Benefits of Hiding Your Income

You can negotiate for lower prices

Salespeople size you up as soon as you step on the sales floor. If you drive in with a nice car or wear expensive clothes, you’re signaling your wealth before you even shake hands.

There are more nuanced ways salespeople can find your wealth. Have you ever filled out a form to finance your car or television? Those forms ask for your monthly income, and salespeople can use that knowledge to find more things to sell you.

Instead, wear plain clothes and park in their lot with a cheap car. Salespeople will think they’ll have to give you a deal to sell anything, and it will give you a lower starting point when you start negotiating with them.

They may not greet you as warmly, but your savings will more than make up for it.

You blend in with everyone else

Have you ever had that feeling that you don’t belong? There aren’t many worse feelings in life – you can’t wait to escape wherever you are, as well as whomever you’re with.

The same feeling happens when people feel like they aren’t in your financial stratosphere. If somebody feels like they don’t belong around you, they’ll find somebody else to spend time with.

Nobody will envy you

Success is easier to notice than failures. Nobody knows how much work you put in to achieve the income you have, and they probably don’t see the stress you manage to maintain your position.

If you share how much money you make, they will see that. They’ll ask themselves why you deserve it instead of them, and it could eat away at your relationship.

This is right in line with the bucket of crabs theory. When crabs are in a bucket, some could escape by simply climbing out. Unfortunately, the other crabs don’t want to see their success, and will pull down any crabs that try to escape.

People can have the same mentality. Don’t worry how others may feel about your success.

The Downside of Sharing Your Income

People will expect you to pay more of the bill

Splitting bills is customary when you go out with friends. Sometimes you order a little more, sometimes they do, and it all works itself out in the end.

What if you make 3x your friends though? If they know that you make a lot more than them, would they expect you to pick up more of the bill? If you know you make that much more, would you feel obligated to pay more as well?

There’s nothing wrong with shouldering the pay for friends and family who don’t make as much as you. I do the same for friends that aren’t making as much because they’re in graduate school or working at a startup company and taking little salary.

With that said, there’s a difference between paying more because you want to, compared to paying more because you’re expected to. It’s a lot more gratifying to help because you want to, but it won’t be gratifying if everybody expects it.

People will target you

Did you ever wonder why people cater to the wealthy? It’s to sell them more stuff – such as real estate, cars, or investments. If any of these were good deals, they wouldn’t need to come to you. When you get bombarded with offers, you could make expensive decisions out of fatigue.

You could also be a target for crime. The more you signal your wealth by owning nice stuff, the more stuff criminals will be able to steal from you. It takes as much time to steal a Porsche 911 as it does to steal a Honda Civic. If a criminal sees both on the sidewalk, which do you think they’ll go for?

People Will Judge How Much You Spend for Gifts

Gifts are thoughtful expressions of care. Unfortunately, people may think less of your gift if they knew how much more you could have spent with your higher income.

The same goes for donations. There’s no magic number for how much you should donate, but expectations rise as you make more money.

Your Income Could Disappear Tomorrow

If you make over $300,000 per year, you’re in the top 1% of earners. As great as this feeling is, it also means only 1% of all the available jobs will pay your current salary or more.

Not only will it be tough to find another job that covers your current salary, your job could be at risk as well. Jobs are getting disrupted at faster and faster rates thanks to technology. If that job does disappear, nobody who knew how much money you made will feel bad for you.

They could also play Monday morning quarterback once you lose your job. For example, they could say you had it coming after showing off your excess wealth.

Practice stealth wealth and save that money instead of spend it. You will be on the offensive if your job gets disrupted, and fewer people will second guess you.

Never Share How Much Money You Make – The Bottom Line

When you share how much money you make, you open the door to a lot more consequences than benefits. It may feel good to share your income, but that pride could be perceived by others as boasting.

After you share how much money you make, people could expect more from you, and those relationships could fracture if you don’t live up to their new expectations.

Practice stealth wealth and keep your income to yourself and spouse. Your relationships will be more meaningful, and there will be a lot less judgement all around.